More questions than answers

Here is a recent quote from one of my courses. It provokes a lot of questions. Thought you might enjoy entering the student life with me!

'Teach a man to fish and you can sell him bait for a lifetime.'

A student again

I barely have time to write as I have officially started classes today and accomplishing 3 courses in 3 weeks gives you barely enough time to breath. I freaked out last night, questioned my motives, abilities and general sanity and was somewhat relieved to find that a few other students were thinking the same thing. Graduate studies are a far cry from undergrad work I did 10 years ago. However, Darren assures me that I can do it, and I trust his judgement! I am excited to be learning something practical and to try and make sense of the chaotic and insecure world around us. In my effort to do so I will not be writing for the next 3 weeks but hopefully will be able to catch you all up on my studies when there is room to breath.

Darren, on the other hand has a great IT job in the health region for Vancouver Island, is working at a farm down the road as well and totally cleaned up our house today. I am so spoiled. Wonder what he's cooking for dinner tomorrow?

Me and my mom

In light of my last post which was filled with sadness, I thought it appropriate to share this photo of me and my mom. We went on a little adventure some weeks ago looking for a final resting spot for my grandma, who passed away while I was in the CAR this January. I thank God for my mom, and all the women who have mothered me through the journey.

My one hundredth post

This is post number 100. I wish it could be filled with all manner of good news, but I just got off the phone with Clarisse and it is not all good. Mama Maggie, the aunt who so wonderfully raised Clarisse, is sick and in hospital. She has not been well for the past 2 years or so, so this is no surprise, but it is heart wrenching to hear the pain in Clarisse's voice and to not be able to comfort her in person. Maggie has raised many, many children, most of whom are orphans or unwanted, and though barren, has been a mother many times over. She worked as a mid-wife and then in the hospital pharmacy until illness forced
her to retire. She lives right next door to Clarisse but was taken to the hospital Tuesday when she became too weak to eat and stopped sleeping.

What strikes me is that Tuesday I was burdened with a deep sadness all day. As soon as I got in the car to leave work I started to cry. I cried the entire way home, and into the evening. I was mourning not being in CAR, but it went deeper. Into Wednesday I couldn't get Maggie and others off my mind, but was again burdened by this deep sadness. All I could do was pray, and weep. Now I know why. By Thursday Maggie was beginning to eat and this weekend she could sit up for short periods. I pray she will continue to strengthen and I thank God that even while I am not there and have little communication with Clarisse, my spirit still knows what is going on and I am still able to help.

I also heard last week that Chrysler's oldest brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. Chrysler and his family had not seen his brother for quite a long time as he had been serving in the military in the troubled Birao region of the CAR. I spoke to Chrysler last Monday and gave my condolences to him and his family. He urged me to pray for his family, especially for his mother, and for his brother's widow who is nearly 8 months pregnant.

Death and the possibility of death hang in the air in the CAR all the time. It is not until it gets close to you that you feel the full weight of its burden on your shoulders. I have never felt such sorrow or such joy before I knew the CAR.

On a more joy-filled note, we heard from Calvin this week and he has received good marks on his second semester exams. We were a little worried when his first semester marks came back and he was very behind. However, with the thought of having to leave school and go it alone looming over his head, he really buckled down and has brought his grades up significantly and we are so proud of him. He may just make it afterall.














(Me and Calvin this January in Berberati)

Ignored or Unknown?

I read an interview with Tony Lanzer, the head of the UN Human Rights Commission in the C.A.R. recently. When asked why the CAR has been ignored for so long, his response reminded me that even while we are here in North America, we have an important job to do on behalf of the people of the Central African Republic. He says:

"You can't ignore something unless you know it exists. In spite of its name, nobody knows where the Central African Republic is. Very few people know it is a country and even fewer have time to worry about it. Also, it is surrounded by bigger, more complex countries... Until we inform people of why CAR matters, it never will."

So it isn't so much that CAR has been ignored, it is that nobody really knows that is exists. CAR matters, not only in political terms but more so because of the four million people who call it home, who are suffering from lack of clean water, sufficient food and constant insecurity. The people of CAR matter.

Job Search, take 3

I have finally settled on a job that starts Monday. I know you are all holding your breath to see how long it will last, but I am really looking forward to it. I quit the local garden centre I have been working at this week. It wasn't a bad job at all, and although the pay was not the best, it is a nice distance by bike and the staff are very friendly. One lady in particular was especially friendly and I would have liked to have stayed if not just to work along side her. However, I was hired with the understanding that is was a temporary job to get them through the busy season and that as soon as I found something more permanent I would be leaving. They may not have banked on it only taking a week to find something permanent but that is how it goes. I love working outdoors but will have to go to the thrift store to get some more work clothes. As I write this post it is snowing. Yes, snowing! The hillside outside the house is covered with Spring daffodils and yet we are still in Canada and winter has not had its last word yet. Hopefully this is it.

So the newest job is also at a Garden Centre, way out in Sidney, a good 35 minutes drive so no biking for me. It pays slightly more an hour than my last job, but has a more ECHO-feel about it. They are quite picky about who they hire and they operate very much like a family owned business, with the employees making up the family. They are more of a specialty place and focus on rare and unusual varieties of plants, including a number of native species. While they do mostly retail sales, they also supply to landscapers and do a fair bit of their own propagation. Last week, the day after my interview, I spent 4 hours grafting dogwood and Japanese maple as a special project for the owner. I think this was the hook. I have never been pursued for employment as I have by this nursery.

As I said in an earlier post, the circumstances around this job are equally as 'designed' as the last one. During the two days I was working for the golf course, I ordered plants for a project there from Russell nursery. A few days after quitting the nursery owner called me to find out if I had received the plants they delivered. I then told him that I am sure they received them but that I was no longer working there so wasn't sure. He asked me why I quit as he knew I had only just started. After explaining my life to him he invited me out for an interview that afternoon. The rest is the history of job number three.

I officially start job number three on Monday and will be spending the week dividing bamboo. As we were talking about nursery propagation techniques last week in my interview we hit on the subject of bamboo and I asked him what he used to do their divisions. The tools they use are far from easy so I suggested using a reciprocating saw. He jumped on the idea and so next week I start a new job with a new pair of work gloves, multiple layers of clothing including long-johns and a brand new reciprocating saw, hopefully in pink. (Do they even come in pink?)

The other beautiful thing about the job is that they close down the week before Christmas until the end of January. So I guess I will get to go to C.A.R. for Christmas after all. God is good!

Helping the Cause

I found an old note yesterday written by a friend who gave funds for Gamboula school kids and it said "Happy to help the cause". The note got me thinkng about what is the cause? The cause is helping the suffering, the hungry, widows and orphans. But it is so much more than a cause. The cause is real people, with real feelings of sorrow, hopelessness and joy. With our highly digitalized age of e-mail and cell phones it seems that we can stay far more connected than ever before but also be so disconnected at the same time. I hadn't realized it until the last few weeks of living in Canada. For the last six years I have been living a highly relational life. On the ECHO farm when you want to talk to someone or find out how someone is you walk over to their house, or stop and chat on the way to work or out by the pond fishing for supper. In Gamboula there are no phones or e-mail. You walk down to your friends house to see how they are. There is no phoning first to see if it is a good time or not. The face to face encounter keeps us real, keeps us humble, keeps us involved. When you look into the eyes of your friends it is much harder to forget their humanness.

I started a new job last week (I quit yesterday as I found something more permanent). I have been working at a local garden centre this week and in the get to know your colleague encounters I always mention where I have lived the last 5 or 6 years. There are three general reactions. The first reaction is the 'that's nice, but I have no idea what you are really talking about and let's not talk about it again', the second reaction is 'oh my god, I could never live there and weren't you scared for your life all the time!' and the third is ' that is so interesting, please tell me more'. I totally understand the first reaction as most people have absolutely no frame of reference for what I am talking about, or feel some kind of guilt for one reason or another. The second reaction makes me laugh because it is the same reaction members of my family have had and it is usually from a seriously misinformed individual. However, it also makes me very sad when I realize that people with the reaction of 'oh my god I could never live there' have not ever thought that people just like themselves actually do live there. The 'cause' is seeing that real people, born with the same potential as ourselves live in the places where we would never want to live. They are PEOPLE whose race does not preclude them from feeling pain, suffering, hopelessness and fear just as we would if we were dropped into the same situation. Recognizing the reality of life in other places, even in the back alleys of the places we call home, is uncomfortable, challenging and propels us into action.

Let yourself know the reality and be propelled into action.

Thank-you to the people (you know who you are) who in your recognition of the human spirit have taken a keen interest in the people with whom we work and love. Your interest, questions and kindness keep my memories alive, keep me accountable to the faith I profess and remind me that we are not alone in helping the cause.