Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Home on the Range

Saturday night at midnight we made our arrival into North America with one bag and a dog.  The other three bags were some where between Washington DC and Victoria.  We were greeted with much excitement and joy by our families and were covered up in warm clothes before leaving the airport for exposure to the cold Canadian air.  We slept in after having been traveling for 36 hours straight and started Sunday morning with a chill in the air. 
 
We spent a good amount of time Sunday sorting through clothes that had been in boxes for three years or more only to find that Darren's wardrobe was significantly well stocked compared to mine!  Sunday evening we had a nice dinner with my mom and the Bosses and were able to catch-up a bit over a really good club-house sandwich and French fries.
 
Monday morning mom and I went shopping so I could find same pants in order to prevent death by exposure on my part.  Monday afternoon was more essentials shopping with my dad and step-mom and then dinner with them and my sister.   Mmmm, pizza.  So we have eaten well in the last two days, are slowly acclimatizing and realizing how much work we have to do in the next month.  We are scheduled to fly to Florida on the 16th of January to start our year of work in Florida.  I am trying to not be critical at all that I see but Christmas is definitely a hard time to not think back to the poverty we just left in light of all the excess around us here.  I need to keep reminding myself that we are in a different culture and because of that, we need to be just as sensitive and tolerant as we were in the Central African culture.  There is no difference. 
 
Anyway, I plan on writing more when I have time to think and be still for more than a few minutes.  Our dog, Koko, has adjusted well and everybody loves her so she is doing better than we are. 
 
Well, better go....Later

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Tearful Goodbyes

After a very difficult week of good-byes, we have arrived in
Yaoundé with our dog Koko in tow, awaiting our flight to
Canada on Friday. It is hard to say where home is now.
When we first set out for CAR one of our main motivations
was to learn the ropes of agricultural missions, to help out
Roy Danforth and to seek further direction for our future
careers. I don’t think it ever occurred to me that I
would want to stay in CAR, nor have my heart captured by the
people of Gamboula.

On the contrary, if I could have found some way to hang on I
would have. I have never felt such heart break in my life
that I can remember. Leaving Canada or ECHO did not feel
like this. I am so thankful for our two years in CAR and I
am looking forward to going back. There is no shortage of
need for missionaries and development practitioners in CAR
and if God allows, I intend to be among those meeting the
need.

Our last week was busy with packing although, I have to
admit that I had very little to do with packing down the
house. Darren, bless his heart, saw how much I was grieving
at having to leave behind such good family and friends that
he gave me the week to do what I needed to do and he took
care of nearly everything else. I have such an awesome
husband. We had a party at Clarisse’s house with all the
Nguebe family in the Gamboula area as well as her sister who
arrived from Bangui after an 8 year absence right in time
for our party. We fed 54 Nguebe’s, and that was only half
the family. Not unlike what a Coupe family reunion would be
like. Next we had a party with our ladies bible study, each
one bringing something to share around the table. Thursday
was a big day at our house as I got my hair braided by
Nadege and Clarisse. It took a total of nearly seven hours
but I am so happy with it and am determined to keep it in
until mid December. Friday, December first is the biggest
national holiday in CAR. The big thing to do on the first
is to be in the parade. Leonard, Nadege and I made uniforms
for all the workers with their names hand embroidered onto
their shirts and complete with ECHO hats. We loaded up the
agroforestry golf cart into the back of the truck and I
drove it at the head of our team in the parade. We got all
kinds of cheers as people were especially enthralled to see
Roy and Darren marching with the workers doing all kinds of
crazy stuff as they tried to march to the beat of the drums.
After the parade festivities were over I headed back down
town with Clarisse and a few other agro workers to take in
some of the fun. Darren went back to the house to pack
before he and Roy headed back to the Mayor’s party. I
hung out with Clarisse until nearly 10:30 that night. We
had a lot of fun but it was also very sad at the same time.
We saw all kinds of people we knew from church absolutely
drunk in the name of the holiday. It seems as though all
the people who would normally never do such a thing
transformed into some one else. Clarisse and I ended the
night in tears on our knees praying for our friends to
remain faithful to their convictions and that no one would
be injured. There were a number of motorbike-taxi accidents
because of excessive speed and drunk driving.

Saturday, we were honoured by the agroforestry staff at a
going away/Christmas party at our house. The wives of many
of the workers prepared goat, beef and greens (just for me)
and we gathered, wives included!, on our veranda for a
feast. We were so encouraged by the presence of all our
staff and their willingness to have their wives eat with us
(not a normal thing). I specifically asked if they would
mind inviting their wives as I know many of them and wanted
to say good-bye to them as well. Chrysler, one of the two
head guys who I have travelled a lot with and given lots of
counsel too, made such a nice speech and read a beautiful
prayer from Colossians that he asked me to pray on behalf of
the workers. When it came time to pray I couldn’t hold
out any longer and the tears started to flow. I think I
really surprised the guys. I have a reputation of being
pretty tough so I think it was good for them to see my more
vulnerable side. Even Chrysler had tears in his eyes.
Sunday night after a nice meal and Sunday service with the
missionaries I headed down to Clarisse’s house. To my
surprise, all the Nguebe siblings from Gamboula had gathered
there to wait for me. Clarisse, Nadege, Severene, Eloi,
Berenice, Regi (a cousin), Hortence (Mathew’s wife
visiting from Berberati), and a few of the older kids had
gathered in the living room. I arrived around 9:00pm
prepared to stay up all night. Once I got settled in my
spot and the laughing subsided, Eloi brought out a new
cassette player and a blank cassette. They had devised a
plan to record the group of us singing songs onto the
cassette for me to bring back to Canada so I can be reminded
of them. By 12:30 am we had filled up both sides of the
cassette, laughed at each other a lot and had a really good
time ‘breaking up our sadness’. I eventually crawled
into bed at 1:00am only to be up at 4:30am filled with the
dread of sadness I knew would come that day.

Monday morning I was up early finishing up all the things I
had neglected to do the week before. After running around
all morning, saying various good-byes it was time to think
about leaving for the airport. We had a lunch date with Roy
and Aleta but I couldn’t think about food at all. Instead
I took off for the Garden of Eden to have a good cry that
had been building up all morning. By the time I got out of
the garden there were people waiting for me at the garden
entrance to say their goodbyes, Nadege, Mama Maggie, both in
tears in no time. Once we had everything all packed up the
agroforestry staff said they ALL wanted to accompany me down
to the airport. We loaded everyone up in the agroforestry
truck, nearly 20 people, and took our funeral like drive
down the airport. I sat in the front with Eloi, my big
brother, on one side driving, and Clarisse, my big sister,
on the other side. Clarisse and I cried nearly the whole
way there and poor Eloi was doing all he could to hold it
all together. The plane was a little late so we tried to
lighten the mood some sitting under the hot sun. Once the
plane arrived and the guys got to refuelling, different
staff pulled me aside to say their personal goodbyes, their
thanks for various things and my last words of counsel.
There was also a lot of just staring at one another, words
exchanged without being spoken. When it was time to get in
and go the guys formed a long receiving line towards the
plane (African style) and we filed along it giving hugs and
shaking hands. Once the plane started up so did I, the
sound of my tears drowned out by the noise of the engine.
It was so painful to see all my dear friends, men and women
alike left standing there, eyes welling up with silent
tears.

So here we are in Yaoundé, waiting for our flight back to
Victoria tomorrow. If not for the continuing education that
is really going to be very helpful for our return back to
CAR, I am not sure I would have left just yet. Change is a
part of life, I know, but it doesn’t always have to be
easy. I realise even more so now in my departure, that what
I contributed to Gamboula was far more than just planting a
few trees and establishing productive gardens. These things
are good, but the real work happened in the relationships,
the lives I influenced, the hearts that changed. One of my
workers wives came to me on Sunday to thank me for working
so closely with her husband. She said before I came there
was no peace in their house. He would be away with other
women for days at a time, only to come back drunk, rough her
up and leave again. Now, after these last two years, peace
has returned, he sleeps at home, he no longer hits her and
things are slowly improving. Love is starting to appear in
their home. She says it is because of my counselling her
husband and the example of Darren and I’s marriage. What
an honour to be a part of transforming lives. And what an
honour it will be to one day soon return to CAR to be used
by God to transform more lives in his name.

I will write again on Monday when we are home and give you a
glimpse of reverse culture shock and all the things that
makes us look like a couple of people who just left the
jungle for the big city!